Example 1: This one I have an interest in is so fucking ambiguous, I don’t know where I stand from one second to the next. One minute, he’s flirty (is flirty the right word when referring to a guy?) and there seems to be no question that he’s interested, then the next he’s all distant and withdrawn.

Example 2: A guy I went to school with hit me up on Facebook chat tonight. I hardly spoke to him while we were in school – in fact, he even admitted that he doesn’t really remember me. Yet, by the end of our 10 minute (yes, literally 10 minutes) conversation, he was telling me that “he likes me” because I “seem like I’m on his wavelength”. The sad thing is, that 10 minute conversation was probably only 5 minutes because I was playing Heavy Rain on my PS3 during the whole thing and so wasn’t responding immediately! He even ended the conversation with “I’ll be thinking of uou.”

It left me feeling like maybe I’d agreed to marry him but had somehow missed that part of the conversation. :/

Can I have just a little bit of middle ground here? Ugh.

It’s something that I’d been considering for quite a while. I say considering, agonizing would probably be closer to the mark. I really enjoyed my time in the States and I don’t regret one bit of it, but in the end it came down to the fact that I missed my family too much and, yes, I missed England as a country – cool, wet Summers included! My only regrets are some of the people I left behind. They know who they are and I miss them dearly. I just hope they’ll come to understand, in time, why I made the decision to leave.

Really though, I’ve fallen on my feet. I’ve got a great job working for Sky – it’s great fun and I’ve met some really awesome people. I’m spending loads of much missed time with my family (and planning with my sister how we’re going to follow A7X around on tour and seduce Syn Gates (me) and M. Shadows (her) and get them to marry us, thus thrusting us into the jet set lifestyle that we obviously both deserve!). Ahem.

All in all, things really couldn’t be better. I’ve just bought myself some hosting (thanks, Dreamhost!) and I’m planning to spend more time on my websites. That and building myself a monster of a computer to tackle the design aspect of my online life – I don’t think my laptop can take much more so it’s going to go into early retirement and finish it’s days with the less arduous task of browsing the occasional webpage. Bless it!

My writing is going amazingly well – I don’t think I’ve written this much in years! Thanks to the encouragement of a friend (you know who you are) I’m starting to enjoy the process of writing again.

My job went full-time, starting last week. This means more money (obviously) and now I’ll be able to start saving to visit family in the UK!

And lastly, I’ve decided to quit smoking. I don’t know why but I woke up this morning and the thought of a cigarette just made me feel sick. I’m taking full advantage of this feeling and hope it lasts.

Okay, back to writing. :D

I’ve been meaning to write here – honestly! I even had a draft saved from about two weeks ago but I guess I just never got around to finishing it.

I had my two upper wisdom teeth out a couple of weeks ago and have only now really started feeling better. I never had this amount of pain with the lower ones, but one was a real bitch to get out, so I think that’s why half of my face was aching for close to a week!

Also, I received a completely unexpected offer to add a couple of my sites to the Silent Hill collective, Bitter-Season.net. To say I’m a little excited (and very flattered) to be asked is an understatement! Thank you, Vixx!

Now, when I say “brush”, I mean it quite literally. The owner of the tanning salon I went to took one look at my pasty white skin (thanks, England!) and told me I didn’t need to be in there for more than three minutes. Yes, THREE minutes.

So, I’m thinking, WTF? Are these things super-powered, mini-nuclear-reactors or something? Am I going to survive this? Should I don a full radiation suit, complete with protective headgear??? And if so, can I have a purple one, please?

I felt somewhat letdown to discover that the tanning bed looked very, well, tanning bed-like. The disappointment was soon pushed to the back of my mind when the owner sets the timer and tells me I have three (yes, it’s that magic number again) minutes to get undressed, get the lotion on and get under the thing before it comes on.

Three minutes later, my clothes are strewn in all over the floor and I’m double checking that I’ve managed to get the lotion everywhere and wondering whether other people bother with their backs, and if they do, what sort of ungodly position do you have to get into to reach it properly?

I’ve just pulled the top down when it fires up. And before you know it, it’s stopped again. Three minutes really isn’t very long, you know! Surprisingly, I was ever so slightly red. I didn’t burn, or anything, but at least it was something. Next time, I might be really brave and go for FOUR minutes!

Quite honestly, I’m really glad there was someone there to advise me on the amount of time I needed to spend under there. When I lived in England, I’d spend 45 minutes under a tanning bed, with little or no result…

My overall goal is to be able to wear shorts without people recoiling in horror at the pale blue hue of my legs. :)

Why? Because yesterday (April 9) was the day that Avenged Sevenfold played in Amarillo. The day I’ve been looking forward to for months!

Bryan, my two step-daughters and I arrived just as the first band was getting off stage. I forget there name, and to be honest, I can’t be bothered to go look it up. So Papa Roach is up next. I really don’t like any of their stuff passed Love, Hate, Tragedy, but the girls like them, so it was kinda cool. And they were much better live than I’d expected.

We were on the floor, so we were inching our way forward, waiting for Buck Cherry to get on stage. Again, not really a fan, but they’re okay. We’re fairly near the front when the lights go down and the opening notes of Critical Acclaim boom out. Me and Breezie (step-daughter #1) just look at each other and scream! I found out later that A7X and Buck Cherry switch out who goes on first.

We’re on the right side of the auditorium, so we’re really near to Synyster Gates. Throughout the first song, I was torn between gazing at Matt and Syn. Syn won out most of the time, being as he was nearest. Now, we’d managed to find a spot where most of the people in front of us were shorter, so we had a pretty good view of things. They were playing Afterlife and I was singing away and throwing the devil horns when I notice Syn looking in my direction… We made eye contact, Then he threw the devil horns back at me, gave me a cheeky grin and waved. I swear to God, I just about pissed myself!

The rest of the show was great! The girls really enjoyed their first concert, though I’m sure I embarrassed the crap out of them by getting overly excited about the whole thing!

I think the only thing that could have made the concert better is if my sister had been there with me – she loves A7X as much as I do, if that’s even physically possible…

Let me leave you with a couple of pictures…

I’m currently planning out a short story that I’ve had in mind for months. What’s weird is that I don’t have to force myself to sit down and write for at least twenty minutes anymore. I’m writing by choice. And it’s fun! I’m still at the planning stage, so technically, I haven’t actually started writing it yet, but I’m finding I’m having ideas more and more. Granted, this has only been going on for the last three days, but still, I’ve got to stay optimistic, haven’t I?

Also, now that I’ve told everyone (here) what I’m doing, I can’t really back out. I’m counting on you lot to bug me until I get it finished!

On a completely different subject, I’ve decided to dye my hair red and black. I’ll post pics when it’s done.

It’s been snowing all day today. Bryan got to stay home from work and Keely got to stay home from school. Of course, it was my day off, so I didn’t get anything out of the deal. Heh.

Oh, I have a new job – well, actually, it”s my old job. But it”s awesome. Really. Much better than the crap I’ve been doing for the last couple of months.

That’s about it, really. Well, that and the fact that I noticed, earlier today that if you look closely at the layout of Fake Reflection, it looks like Yuri has a penis growing out of his thigh. I should probably do something about that…

Went out, last night, for the first time in a while. Bryan was playing with Skitz O”Fuel at the Golden Light in Amarillo, opening for a band called Spindrift. I’m usually reluctant to go to these shows, basically because I have no one to talk to. But last night, I bumped into somebody from London! Turns out she was following the band around while they toured, so I got to talk to her for a while and catch up on all things English!

Also, I’ve been participating in the NameCheap Twitter contest since Tuesday of last week. So far, I’ve won three domains. Yes three!! I never win anything, so this is pretty amazing! I’ve already used one of those domains to get my Arnold Rimmer shrine back online. I built it about three years ago and it was online for a while, but never had it’s own domain. So, allow me to present to you… oh-smeg.net.

Oh, and I finally picked up the Avenged Sevenfold tickets! God! I can’t wait until April 9th!!!!!!!!

It was my friend’s wedding day today. We got the invitation in the mail about two weeks ago and so rushed out to get all the necessary things; gifts, clothes to wear, you know – the usual. So, by the time today rolled around, we were pretty much ready to go, especially considering it was fairly short notice. My husband was going to be the best man at the wedding, so he was kind of nervous, but, all in all, we were looking forward to it despite the hour drive it would take to get there.

We arrive at the house (yes, house – I should have guessed) a little early and the bride answers the door. In jeans. Okay, I”m thinking, she obviously just hasn’t had chance to get dressed yet. Then we see a whole bunch of people similarly dressed.

Now, I always get paranoid at formal occasions. I’m not a very dressing-up sort of person and I worry that I’ll overdo it or be too casual. So, we’re stood there – me in dress pants and “proper” shoes and my husband in a full suit. We got some odd looks, but I tried to ignore them. Then the groom walks in, and yes, he’s wearing jeans and t-shirt like everyone else and declares his surprise at seeing us there.

Apparently, he didn’t expect us to make it to the wedding shower. Yes, that’s right, the wedding shower. To say I felt like a complete tit is a slight understatement!